I'm Ok

I’m a perfectionist yet so far from being perfect.  It is my nature and always has been to go the extra mile, put in that extra effort, try just a little harder, be just a little better.  Although I think it’s always good and for as long as I live I will try to better myself in every aspect of my life, it can be discouraging because like I mentioned before, I’m never good enough for me.  I still want to reach every goal I have set and I will continue to better myself no matter what stage I am at, but sometimes looking back helps you realize where you have been.  That is the main reason for this blog.  I struggle with seeing my own progress and if I document it here I will be able to see it.  I have been wanting to write about this for a few days and just haven’t had the time, but I was looking at my blog and went way back and it kind of clicked… I’m ok.  I was ok in all of these pictures that I hated myself in and felt like a big fat cow.  At the time I was never ok with myself and yes, I was still far from perfect, but I wish I would have realized that I was ok.  And I’m ok now.  Yes, I do want to reach all of my goals, but instead of dwelling on the fact that I’m not quite there yet I want to embrace where I am on the path at that moment and what got me there.  No, I don’t love the fact that I’m lugging around an extra 35 pounds or that I no longer have tough as hell abs, but I do love the fact that I get to be a mommy to another little girl, so I’m ok.

Not really sure why I hated myself in this picture

 And this one

And every other one.  Maybe because you can't see my love handles or my cellulite, but I realize now that although it was ok for me to try to reach my goals I should have also seen my progress and realized that I was ok where I was at. 

A part of me dreads the hard work that is ahead of me, but a part of me is excited for the challenge. 

Last night I made tacos for my family and I ate a taco salad that was "clean" (whole foods) and I love how my body feels when I do that.  I am for sure going to try eating a "clean diet".

So excited to finally see this about myself :)